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Death may be the greatest of all human blessings. (Socrates).

“And at the very end, we do not remember the days, we remember moments”

How many times have you looked ‘death’ in the eyes? How far is your soul? How close are you to reality? Are you alive ~ today? ***Checkmate***

If the context makes little sense to you, count it luck, and if these lines have shivered a line of pain down your spine, then hey friend; this is for you!

Not all of us are living the best of our lives, and not all of us have what we desire, what we deserve. Life has a tedious way of letting us down, even in our primes. When it goes in your favor- cheers, when it goes behind your back- hold your horses. You are gonna lose it anyway, over to the big game of life – fortunately; Death. Slowly and gradually, you will lose it all..!

You have this consideration straight when you are a catastrophic patient with a very special neurologic disorder or any kind of sickness that gets you this close to reality, where you feel every new day is a debt. We are devious little human beings, who don’t even have full control of our pulses, our nervous system can break down in one spike and it will make you extinct for future generations because other than Google who remembers our death? To the people who are living a borrowed life, prepared to lose it at any moment, ready enough to leave this world in the blink of an eye, we are never off the guard. We are the ‘real deal’ because we actually know the ‘value of life’ and the ‘cost of living’.

After having danced ‘Tango with Azrael’ quite enough times, you come to terms with death; slow, painful, horrible DEATH. I beg it to go easy on me because this is not my first time dying, I have been here before, I know your game plan, you never take me with you, you always come, sit with me, terrify me to my very core, and then leave, you leave me alive, you don’t follow the rule, you’re living beyond the law. And when in that short and sweet moment of pain, I am begging God to give me one more chance so I can go back and align my life to deserve a graceful death, He prevails the justice and gives another chance, and the very next day, I am there again begging him to license another day to my life with that throbbing pain in my eyes and the pulsating nerves getting outta my head where I am trying to squeeze it down by pushing it inwards, where I feel like someone is pinning a needle deep in my scalp on the left side of my brain and someone else is pushing a big nail with a heavy hammer on the right side, again and again, and again, repeatedly, every day. That pounding pain of nerves, heartbeat getting out of scale, the eyes getting flashbacks of life, sensory overload of sound, light, and touch accompanied by nausea and vomiting, the burning sensation in my body, breathlessness – losing it to oxygen, surrendering to Azrael. I have come to terms with death, where I am no longer impressed by the achievements of life, every new win makes me think about the upcoming failure, and every laugh would drop its act in the middle because it remembers the next tear dropping down my eye, and if I don’t remember anything else I still remember the pain’ that’s not leaving my memory muscles.

Every new day when healthy people are fighting to get out of bed and shut off their alarms; we are hanging in there; trying to push our eyes open, touching our arms and face, and realizing that we are still alive, accepting the bargain of this new day; we put our armor on, and get ready to fight for it!

Please acknowledge the pain, any pain, every pain, especially the ones that you don’t know anything about. Stop demanding a clinical diagnosis, stop acting like people don’t matter! Our realities are different, much worse than yours but it’s true. It’s hard, ugly, unattractive, and threatening but it’s true. we are there – we little humans who need to fight more than you, to stay alive – WE ARE THE REAL DEAL.

You know what they say: “Life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying”. And that’s what a near-death experience is. If you haven’t seen it yet, I am not talking to you, leave this blog!

Presenting a “cure” that is worse than the “disease” .

Life is not an exact science especially for us humans ; the most complicated creature on the face of earth. Let me make you uncomfortable with a thought: Moral Values are inherited rather than learned. People who have the tendency to poor behavior are programmed by nature to do so because their parents or their grand parents or great grandparents had this blood. The person who has seen the injustice since their childhood do not see it as a bad thing anymore, we are accustomed to feel comfortable in what we believe in. Where in fact, abuse is a crime for one individual, it is business-as-usual for another.

Moral Values are inherited rather than learned – behaviors always carry the genetic inheritance [Argument]. After the birth, when our parents are busy deciding the occupation of their kids, the kids are genetically restoring the DNA out of those parents, generations after generations, all the inhumane capabilities or the dark realities any generation on that bloodline ever had; is coming together and becoming one, empowering the newly born soul to go beyond. I identify it as a “baggage claim on an airport” – Indecent but true! Do you see? Divorced parents are more likely to have divorced children, unhappy parents are attracting unhappy marriages for their kids, A mother who was bad at keeping social connections is producing her kids with the same weakness, A father who had murdered anyone in his past just created another murderer – show stopper.

Do not bring violin to a gun fight… Let’s not keep the DNA tests to the forensics department, use your brains and authenticate real-life evidences on your own. A kid whose father has been a killer does not require a specific circumstance to attempt a murder, it is in his DNA to make room for it in some way or the other, subconscious mind is the root of all evil. You are liable to hurt people because your mother had this habit, Your mind is making you paranoid because you have enough garbage in your veins to carry out the stigma.

People with bad DNA are bad people… Bad people recreate the same bad DNAs and populate this earth – complimenting the ratio of bad DNAs… that’s how it works, we are creating the lives that we should not have lived ourselves – An open invitation to cruelty, and funny enough; we don’t even know about this.

So, whenever in life you come across a situation you did not attract, rethink- your parents might be the trigger point, whenever you are presented with a stimulus that you don’t feel is yours; your ancestors might have built it for you and considering this the eternal gift, the sad part is; you have the audacity to follow the same wrong path as theirs – you continue to become the cursed individual. Believe it or not, whatever your parents have done in their lives is coming your way, it’s gonna haunt you down and bring you to death, a slow, painful death!

If you feel connected to this story in any way, I am sorry! Well, It’s not that all bad, there is also a good side to it, if you belong to the family of good DNAs, congratulations, you have the responsibility of keeping this world a warm place.. Kudos!

Either it takes a lifetime to die, or no time at all.

The devil knows when you’re getting close to heaven, and it is when he strikes harder!

Do you know people who deal with you in a hurtful way were not created in this manner by GOD…
The liars, manipulators, deceivers, egocentric, apathetic, or aggressive individuals, or all the other categories that behavioral sciences quote as “morally compromised” were also the same innocent kids when it started.

Have you ever actually seen the person standing next to you, and by seeing I mean completely submerging into his reality and trying to embody his philosophy for an instant moment in order to make sense of what background is he coming from? A person who just cursed you on your face, slapped you in front of an audience, or maybe furiously made fun of your emotion,all these kinds of weak people were not always the same. Something terrible must have happened to them where they lost faith in humanity and now they are projecting their insecurities onto others just to make their tiny little self into a complete human beings. Because God made them whole, but we as in society did something horrible to them and turned those loving creatures into painful entities that are now a liability to this society.

And ironically, we keep the batch of honor to ourselves for not being like them because we sadly belong to the virtuous category that turned them into this mess. And technically, we have a fair share of everything that’s gone badly, and this is the worst side to be on!

So next time, when you come across a situation like this, take a moment and reflect “what kind of past has turned this person into such a mess” and then, rather than insulting back, UNDERSTAND, and ease their pain if possible. They are standing so close to the edge, they can fall down anytime. Maybe a little sweet response to your hyper stimulus would help somebody recover from the damage and start being an agent of God again.

And when you are finally equipped to do so; shake hands with the devil, look him in the eye, and gaze back, because you have won the deal!

And I wish we were brave enough to never hide the tears…

Wounds given by parents are never retrieved. The gene has a reliable way of breaking out the worst possible patterns of genetics and turning the children into a huge mess. Parents; single – divorced – happy – unhappy, all of them build or destroy the idea of LOVE in the minds of their children, and then they blame us for losing at it.

Plausible deniability is their stronger suit. Not taking accountability for the mindset they created, for the children they brought into this world, for the things they calculated wrong, and for life they miserably failed.

They help us grow up, they gave us to eat, and they showed love according to their possible convenient schedules, but I hate myself for bringing up that a DOG does the same for its puppies. You were the human beings, the most superior version of life – God created, what did you bring for your offspring, Blame game? Accusation? hatred? You made GOD sad!

This previous generation has played some real tricks on us. we are doomed!

So my friend, before you reproduce, first fabricate the chemicals that actually adapt for what it takes to be a parent.

And if you fail to do so, be ready for a mutually assured destruction…!

People don’t like Messy…… Right ???

The burden of being you, almost carrying your survival story to yourself, feels heavy, empty, and surrounded by nothingness.

It’s hard for us to accept that we are messed up, you never had the nerve to let someone see what they did to you, how they made you feel helpless and scared like a child, it goes beyond our control to let them see how vulnerable we are in our shells, because the idea of the strength that we know is harsh, it’s cruel and evil.

We as human beings are designed to protect each other’s pride, whenever you have a chance to save someone’s face, do it with all your power, but listen to me this one time, do not scare people off by faking the power you don’t actually hold, know when to ask for help, protect your peace from your own negative thoughts, stop running away, let the hell rain on you, break into a million pieces, embrace it, then one day, get up in the afternoon, when you are just finished listening to a song, you realize you have moved past it – the horrible phase of nothingness had a silver lining after all.

Be messy, and emotionally challenge your mates; if they are not ready to guard you in your chaos, you do not belong to them!

And I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I can’t lie ~

Learn how to take a “No”

Train those neurotransmitters of your brain to hear this word loud and clear, without losing your shit.

Grab it in the back of your mind and do not let the immediate circumstances hit you with lifelong guilt. Not everyone is doing things to intentionally hurt you, it’s not their fault that you are in pain, and it’s not your fault that you are in that difficulty. Practice one thing, the moment this word hits your ears creating the energy wave of that sound connecting it to the mind and making the blood flow rush through your head…Disgusted, you feel disgusted right at the moment because you don’t hold the emotional capacity to understand the meaning, grab the essence of it, anticipate the situation and let go.

Let me share with you a fun fact; We never have scientifically learned to actually take a ‘No’ —- Bonkers!

Make yourself a promise today, Receive this word with grace and humility, behave in a polite manner, and believe that it has been offered to you diligently, after presenting you with this situation, the universe is waiting for you to trip, to lose your shit, to do something that you will regret. And you know what? When, in that unguarded moment of utter disappointment, you silently chose to take the high road, this is it; that is the proud moment you let this world know that you are among the chosen ones, declare your authority, call for the title, and tell the whole world ‘Not to mess with you again”. A clear message, no ifs and buts.

In that split of a second, GOD would pat you on the back and feel proud, this is where he takes credit for creating you… YOU a precious, little human being who holds all the powers. He will make a way to turn all the negatives into an opportunity and bless you beyond your imagination, You will see.

Offer him the deal, fulfill your end of the bargain, and wait for his move.
Thank me later!

Sometimes I feel like I am cursed, and sometimes I feel I AM THE CURSE~

Pain is not the problem, nobody acknowledging your pain is the problem, and by mean nobody I didn’t mean a bunch of people crying out loud for you, I meant; not a single person in this whole big goddamned world… is able to depict what is wrong with your mind, and how painful is it for you to carry on this fake life of yours and trying not to portray the damage done, making it look like just fine and not taking it up with those people involved; because they cannot grab the essence of hurt you’ve been through and they are never going to take responsibility for it, so what you do in return, you carry on living, with that heavy heart of yours, with those unbreakable feelings that are always going to mess with your sentiments.

And slowly but gradually you learn, you learn to live with it because you are one of those cursed individuals that are ” The Collateral Damage” of this society, the people on the sidelines, who were never the main leads of their lives, driven and carried away by the actions of others, defined or demolished by people representing them, and with time passing by, every fraction of your entity being shattered, you are left with ‘Nothingness‘ and with that compromised individuality; you are no longer serving the purpose of being human, you are just a living creature, not more than a dead cell.

And you know what? even if the table turns and they could understand the catastrophic pain they caused, and offer me an apology, I will not be needing it, because I don’t need an apology now, I need a WAY OUT!

Take a good look in the mirror and let me know, are you a collateral damage too?

Maybe we aren’t totally lost…
Maybe this is just the way…
Maybe the path toward your success is going to trigger tomorrow.
Maybe you are getting the next adventure of your lifetime in a matter of minutes!

The definition of happiness is subjective to our current state of mind

Maybe somebody is waiting for an interview, they receive it today…
Maybe you will get a call from the person you love and your life sorts out…
Maybe the guilt that you have been holding on to since childhood, leaves your subconscious in the next five hours…
Maybe the long illness that you have been through for decades finally gets over…
Maybe your life is going to change in the upcoming 24 hours…

Life has a funny way of giving us what belongs to us, it doesn’t steal away a thing, it’s only good at keeping secrets and blowing us away with wonders when the right time comes…
Maybe you are getting your next blessing just when you have lost total control and you are on the verge of breaking down.

Do me a favor, Hold on, wait for it ~
Let’s confess to the universe that we have been through enough wait and enough pain, We are ready to receive our next blessing, Let the portal open and hand it over to you!

Look Closely, you’re right there.

Men is the most intelligent of the animal – and the most silly!

Strength doesn’t bring you cruelty. If you think you can live a life beyond emotions, you are wronged. You think you can humiliate others and cover yourself up by being unconcerned, you show disgrace to humanity. Life will treat you like you treat others – wait for it to come back and slap you right in the face.

Personal integrity has a solid definition of not compromising on your values, but what if we have learned the wrong definition of Values? We are Damned!

I see, some people have memorized that they have morals, and they are sitting idle since then, doing nothing about it. They hold a sense of self so high that they cannot comprehend their Humiliation, lack of empathy, and self-centric approach toward others; the frontal cortex of their brains has played with their ability to self-analyze. They never realize the damage they cause in this COSMOS. To them, everything is sorted, because the life in their heads is quite different than the actual happenings, not connecting the dots of their so-called morals with every little event that happens at every moment in this life telling otherwise, is where they fail, and it is bringing their FALL – soon.

A morally compromised defense mechanism arrives when they try to be the higher authority by making people feel like shit. Narcissists; are Liars, Manipulators, and egotistic individuals, who don’t care about anything but themselves, and they still want you to bring the title of “Hero” for them. Being patiently ignorant towards people who genuinely care about you doesn’t make you GOD, it makes you weak, cowardly, and animalistic.

May GOD bless us with a sense of accountability, and strength to save the right people!